Reflecting on my 2 years in VJ Sometimes I feel I may have chosen e wrong road in coming to VJ...or perhaps even coming to JC at all...I guess part of e reason yz I came here was bcuz all e pple I hang around wif in Dunman r mostly here in VJ? there r e GEP-pers (I think about half of our 25 strong cohort is here) there r e bballers (almost e whole of our SEC 4 batch is here) and a lot of other familiar faces in VJ tt I used to see in Dunman...Hmmmzz to say honestly I haben quite fitted into VJ culture...I guess I'm not 1 for e supposed "enthu and fun culture" here...I guess for 1 I dun like unnecessary socialising and I dun like doing unnecessary things tt are deemed to be done in e "school spirit as 1 united body"...The only thing tt I'm grateful to e school perhaps, is tt it gave me n e dunman bballers a chance to do well in competitions with great teammates, teachers and coach...n even den I'm sad to say tt everytime I put up VJ's basketball jersey it is always more of a desire to either feed my personal interests and glory than for e sch...People may say I'm ungrateful to the school but I see it as a purely business transaction where I pay for the school's services no holds barred...I feel things like a sense of belonging really has to depend on an individual...if i had a chance to change my choice I'd definitely have gone to a poly instead...JC's juz a little too much mugging...

I guess e thing tt has played a pivotal role in my development is my relationships with other pple...Much of wat I feel depends on wat others feel...If someone close to me is happy, I'll feel happy no matter wat...if tt someone happens to be sad, den I'll prob feel sad too...however, of cuz they muz have a gd reason for feeling wat they feel...for if some one is happy bcuz he made someone cry or if someone is unhappy bcuz he was expecting 90 n got 89 for his papers...well den I juz try n ignore these pple...I guess I'm quite particular and critical in making frenz...for 1 I cannot stand pple who have biased judgments and discriminate against others...and 2 I cannot stand over-fussy pple who make noise over e slightest issues...and 3 I dun like pple who constantly want to be in e limelight...and 3 I dun like clingy frenz who stick to u e whole day as I am 1 who enjoys a lot of solitary space...of cuz being a human and a social being it is only natural to desire company but I'm not one to fret over it if there isn't any...i've absolutely no problems watching movies alone or sitting in a corner in class...of cuz anybody who wants to join me is welcome...and tt I feel is wat I call a gd frenzship...not those kinds tt break away after u stop sitting next to dem tt kinda thing...it's pure childishness...

hmmmzz but normally when it comes to meeting frenz i go by feeling...if I feel I can click wif tt person den of cuz I may attempt to know him better if not he'll juz be as close to as me as e length of my arm...I fall in love quite easily thou but judging from my past experiences I have come to conclude I'm no boyfrenz material and therefore I shud keep my feelings in check to spare other gals e agony...boy-gal relationships r e only things tt have really ever hurt me I guess...After each encounter i always isolate myself for a few months until pple around juz get used to it den it juz becomes a new way of life for me...In a way I think it is juz a sort of protection for yourself so as not to let pple see how weak u actually feel...I really ought to let it out sometime...wif several cans of booze...a quiet setting and a shoulder to cry on...