I read a really interesting article in the New Paper yesterday by columnist Ng Chuin Song which I felt would interest most people...The article in its entirety is posted here...I juz hope the New Paper does not sue me for copyright though=p

I GOT married in May this year.

Whenever my campus mates, old friends and acquaintances find out that I am married, one of their first reactions would be, 'Really?', or 'Are you kidding me?!'

When they realise that I am not joking, they will look momentarily confused before extending an awkward 'Congratulations' to me.

Even as they do that, I can see an invisible speech bubble above their head that reads, 'Was it a shotgun marriage?' Some would even sneak a glance at my tummy before letting another awkward smile go.

To dispel the tension, I would merrily say: 'No lah, it's not a shotgun marriage.' This usually gets them laughing before they ask the next question: 'Why do you want to get married so young?'

While it is perfectly legal to be married at 22, it seems to be against the social norm to marry young. Especially if one is still in school.

It seems that it is more 'understandable' if one is married because there is a baby on the way, compared to marrying because one really wanted to.

To be honest, I did not envisage myself getting married before finishing my education either.

Nevertheless, I have defied the unspoken norm that both parties should be financially stable (or at least out of school) before they tie the knot.

Many friends and people that I know in passing would say, 'But you haven't seen the world yet' or 'Ah, so boring to be tied down to a person from now', or 'I cannot imagine myself doing this'.

In short, to commit to marriage seems to be daunting because it stops one from having fun, exploring other options, and meeting better partners.

But when does one decide it is the right time? Is it when one is financially stable, or after one has gone through a few heartaches?

For me, if the rationale is that you should get married only after you have built up a successful career, when do you think it is 'successful' enough?

And if a person's energy is largely channelled to building a career, would there be time for one to pursue a love life?

While others may prefer to have a roller-coaster ride in relationships, I opt for stability.

The reason why I am able to concentrate on other aspects of my life (such as studying and other activities) would be that I do not have to worry about my love life. In times of trouble, I am comforted to know that I can share my problems with someone close and dear to me.

The most powerful reason for me marrying young is, of course, the inexplicable power of love. The thought of building a future together with your loved one makes life a whole lot more meaningful and exciting.

Of course, I admit that there are several 'setbacks' to marrying young.

The biggest one is that financially, I am the non-contributing party and it puts a strain on my partner. It is bumpy, but there is always a way to work something out.

And so, if you have not seen me for some time, please don't give me funny looks when I say I have a husband. Just give me a hug and say: 'Good for you.'

# The writer is a fourth-year political science undergraduate at NUS.

There are 2 points in this article which I fully agree with. Firstly, love does not need to come at the expense of your studies/career. Rather than having to make a choice between them, I feel love actually complements those who r concentrating on building their careers and studies. This is because you are emotionally stable and fulfilled, hence every ounce of energy can be channeled into everyday life, knowing that anytime u feel tired or burnt out, there is always someone whom u can count on to lighten your load...

The second point, How successful do you have to be to settle down? I guess many pple often put off relationships to concentrate on building their careers, thinking that there will be a time when they will be less busy to settle down, when in actual fact work is continuous and can only get more if you keep climbing the corporate ladder...Wat I feel...Everyone has their own views, it is not wrong to want to settle down a bit later when u r building your career especially when u cannot guarantee u can spare the time, effort n energy for a relationship...but i would settle down when I feel tt my partner is someone I'd like to spend the rest of your life wif, and I am in a financially stable position to support my partner...because when u decide that u want to spend the rest of your life with your partner, you will want the rest of your life to start sooner=) As to the perceived notion that marriage is the end of fun and adventure...I'd just put it this way that with a little birth control, you actually now have someone to accompany u to see e world=)

Just food for thought, actually if someone this young told me they were married, i'd think it's shotgun as well-_-"

Couldn't quite sleep after talking to u tt n|te=p Hope e end of exams come quickly!!