hmmmzz tml going town wif Shane to buy e PINK SHIRT tt I like at Top Shop...hahaz Shane says e colour is gay but I dun care...I like it n I'm gonna buy it...n tt shirt will double my current wardrobe of 1 shirt n 1 pants for formal events!=> Yeah I have to admit my distaste for formal dress tt's yz I'm not going to spend a few hundred dollars on a set of stupid clothing tt I'll probably never going to wear more than 3 times in my life...juz a plain old shirt plain old pants plain old shoes...this is wat i call D & D no frills style...after all out of e 2 "D"s I'll probably enjoy only e first "D" (dinner) n to enjoy it all u have to do is oblige e dress code which is a shirt pants and shoes...so u dun need no jackets no tux no ties n other expensive unnecessary stuff...of cuz to avoid looking too shabby I've decided to get my hair cut n if i manage to get my parents' consent...to get a pair of nice earrings=>

tml is a new month n i've decided to set a few objectives to stop myself from lazing around...

1. Exercise EVERY WEEKDAY (4.8 km for min. 3 times a week n gym 2 times)
2. Make my own lunch at least TWICE A WEEK
3. Establish a strong foundation in Macromedia Dreamweaver n Fireworks
4. Read finish Nic's IT
5. (Optional) Redesign my blog n class blog...
n more to be added on...

hmmzz hols can get a little mundane sometimes...

got an early x'mas present today which was totally unexpected...hahaz my mum happened to read e newspaper in e morning and saw an advertisement for an mp3 player tt cost only $99 at some ulu factory in Aljunied...50 sets ONLY!! hahaz I kinda made my way down half expecting to see a queue comprising thousands and not being able to get e player but hey turn out I was 50++ person in queue and I got e player cuz others bought other things! hahaz 256mb player wif radio and recorder for $99...I think it's an absolute bargain *grins* a pity e radio sounds juz a wee bit patchy...hahz n my Dad say I cannot use until Christmas...but no way am I going to listen to him!!=p

went shopping today...saw absolutely no signs of decent AFFORDABLE prom stuff=< i dun even have shoes!! hahz prom is juz such a bother...

After letting out wat I needed to let out I've decided to delete yesterday's entry...I feel it has more purpose this way...

anyway today was kinda a fun-filled day...went K-Box wif Eugene Nic Loyalle and Kelvin to celebrate Kelvin's b-day...hmmmzz I think it has become almost customary for us to celebrate one's b-day with a treat at k-box as we've done wif nic loyalle and ben foo...anyway happy b-day Kelvin and many best wishes for another year!=> Went LAN after tt...hahaz think Kelvin and Loyalle r starting to like it too...To Loyalle: I'll play GENERALS wif u next time I go!! n if u lose u help me get e number of e gal at e K-BOX counter:P

Having satusfued my desire for LAN and K-BOX wif e class think e next thing I'm looking forward to is basketball n mahjong...hopefully it wun rain on monday like how it rained on Thursday...

hmmmzz in a lousy mood today...no thanks largely to Paper 3 today...it suck big time...juz blanked out during e exam n all e practice I did for it came to naught...not tt I really revised thoroughly actually but den if given this paper as a practice I bet I would be able to do much better than wat I did today...this is e first time in a long time I'm really feeling insecure for a paper n I tell u it's a lousy feeling...but ah well can't do much about it either...shud be all right after a gd night's sleep tonight...plus tml got bball!!! SO looking forward to it...

Hmmmmzz first thing I'm gonna do after exams...CLEAR MY ROOM!!

Reflecting on my 2 years in VJ Sometimes I feel I may have chosen e wrong road in coming to VJ...or perhaps even coming to JC at all...I guess part of e reason yz I came here was bcuz all e pple I hang around wif in Dunman r mostly here in VJ? there r e GEP-pers (I think about half of our 25 strong cohort is here) there r e bballers (almost e whole of our SEC 4 batch is here) and a lot of other familiar faces in VJ tt I used to see in Dunman...Hmmmzz to say honestly I haben quite fitted into VJ culture...I guess I'm not 1 for e supposed "enthu and fun culture" here...I guess for 1 I dun like unnecessary socialising and I dun like doing unnecessary things tt are deemed to be done in e "school spirit as 1 united body"...The only thing tt I'm grateful to e school perhaps, is tt it gave me n e dunman bballers a chance to do well in competitions with great teammates, teachers and coach...n even den I'm sad to say tt everytime I put up VJ's basketball jersey it is always more of a desire to either feed my personal interests and glory than for e sch...People may say I'm ungrateful to the school but I see it as a purely business transaction where I pay for the school's services no holds barred...I feel things like a sense of belonging really has to depend on an individual...if i had a chance to change my choice I'd definitely have gone to a poly instead...JC's juz a little too much mugging...

I guess e thing tt has played a pivotal role in my development is my relationships with other pple...Much of wat I feel depends on wat others feel...If someone close to me is happy, I'll feel happy no matter wat...if tt someone happens to be sad, den I'll prob feel sad too...however, of cuz they muz have a gd reason for feeling wat they feel...for if some one is happy bcuz he made someone cry or if someone is unhappy bcuz he was expecting 90 n got 89 for his papers...well den I juz try n ignore these pple...I guess I'm quite particular and critical in making frenz...for 1 I cannot stand pple who have biased judgments and discriminate against others...and 2 I cannot stand over-fussy pple who make noise over e slightest issues...and 3 I dun like pple who constantly want to be in e limelight...and 3 I dun like clingy frenz who stick to u e whole day as I am 1 who enjoys a lot of solitary space...of cuz being a human and a social being it is only natural to desire company but I'm not one to fret over it if there isn't any...i've absolutely no problems watching movies alone or sitting in a corner in class...of cuz anybody who wants to join me is welcome...and tt I feel is wat I call a gd frenzship...not those kinds tt break away after u stop sitting next to dem tt kinda thing...it's pure childishness...

hmmmzz but normally when it comes to meeting frenz i go by feeling...if I feel I can click wif tt person den of cuz I may attempt to know him better if not he'll juz be as close to as me as e length of my arm...I fall in love quite easily thou but judging from my past experiences I have come to conclude I'm no boyfrenz material and therefore I shud keep my feelings in check to spare other gals e agony...boy-gal relationships r e only things tt have really ever hurt me I guess...After each encounter i always isolate myself for a few months until pple around juz get used to it den it juz becomes a new way of life for me...In a way I think it is juz a sort of protection for yourself so as not to let pple see how weak u actually feel...I really ought to let it out sometime...wif several cans of booze...a quiet setting and a shoulder to cry on...

hmmmzz watched 2 movies this week...

Forgotten-hmmmzz e trailer looked gd but e story turned out lame in e end...i'm gonna start believing more in newspaper reviews...somehow they r getting darn more accurate...

Incredibles-hahaz this show is superb man...a must watch=>

finally a tough week gone...everything didn't go as smoothly as planned but it's e end of e week anyhow so shall go relax tml!

I miss basketball...I miss going training...i miss having to stay back late and endure long hours of demanding trainings to prepare for competitions...I miss e sound of e ball swooshing thru e net and e feeling of scoring or finishing a teammate's good pass...I miss e thrill of outjumping and outmuscling opponents to get rebounds...I miss e fire and adrenaline tt always comes with every training...I miss the times when I actually had something to look forward to...I miss e times tt I actually had a goal to pursue...

hahahz aiyah simple...juz play more basketball lah!!=p

hmmmzz slacked e whole day today...played warcraft in e morning...den spent 1 hour helping Nic wif Heroes..den went out wif Shane to eat overpowering Western food and watch Sharktale...hmmmzz it was entertaining lah but not as gd as productions like Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc and Shrek 2...and definitely not worth e 7.50 paid for it...long time since I actually went to e movies wif someone...hahaz not bad lah at least e funny parts got someone to share...Shane likes lame stuff too...

have a sudden overpowered urge now to re-pierce my ear holes...cuz I saw this guy with some really nice ear-rings which I thot might look gd on me...only managed to keep my ear-holes for a month e last time=( thinking of piercing 3 in my left ear...think I'll look not bad (hope lah!=p)

today was kinda embarassing too...saw Jerald's lookalike Swee Kiat at Century...den I started to tell Shane about how we would ka chiao both Jerald and Swee Kiat way back in Dunman when they saw each other...den e more I said, e louder I got until Shane pointed out tt Swee Kiat was juz standing behind me!!! omg...his parents were wif him some more -_-" hope I wun see too much of him in VJ ah...too pai se already...

hahaz juz found a new comic joint near my place where I can read a comic book for juz 50c (80c for thicker 1s) eacH!! hahaz Shall be my new camping spot from now on=>

1 paper down...n I feel good bout it...basically I wun do badly...and more importantly I wun ever ever have to struggle thru 3 hours of comp n compre trying not to fall asleep...anyway juz realise when exams draw near and stress creeps in u really get to see a person's true nature...n it isn't exactly a pretty sight...People have to learn to relax better...

dumped e luohan fish in my house today...it was still alive but its eyes had sort of popped out of its sockets and the little fishes were feeding on its decomposing body...happy for it lah at least it's finally out of its misery...it has been sick e last few months...

think I'll watch Sharktale tml...

Somehow I feel I'm taking my "A"s a tad too lightly...I've identified 2 reasons for it...either I think tt I'm smarter than I really am...or I think tt "A" levels really shud be easier than it really is...anyway I better be right on AT LEAST 1 OF E COUNTS...

Next time when I have children I wun make dem go thru Singapore's torturous education system...I want dem to enjoy wat they r doing, to be motivated about doing sth...They wun be like me having to drag myself out of bed bcuz they should be so enthusiastic about e day's activities tt they can't wait to get down to it...tt's e vision I have n want...Motivation's so lacking nowadays u really almost have to save it n use it sporadically until e big moments...I guess tt's partly from me being lazy n laidback...but really I'm not always e sleepy Ben seen in sch who juz can't seem to keep awake for a 15 min span...I do have my enthusiastic moments...but I guess not for "A" levels (goes e same for degrees, masters P.H.d etc.) I guess it's a little wishful thinking on my part too...considering tt dere is a chance I may not get past my "A"s after all...

In recent weeks I've realised someone around really thinks n behaves e same way as me...in terms or train of thoughts, responses to everyday situations, n innate needs...hahaz n suddenly I dun feel so weird anymore?!:P hahaz nah tt was a joke...but when u read wat's going on in a person's life n see an exact replica of wat u have gone/are still going thru...u really feel for tt person...I'll look out more for tt person in future...

anyway hoped i used e word sporadically correct juz now...GP is in 2 days' time...